In the Absence of Symmetry
by Sanguine Ageha
Summary: “What if Haruhi was never meant for you?” Kaoru finally fired the question.


**Disclaimer: **Ouran Koukou Hosuto-bu is and will never be mine, because it belongs to Hatori Bisco. The only thing I own is the fic and all other elements related to it.

**Warning:** The OOCness you may encounter along the way is necessary for the entire fic to work and make sense. But worry not, for it is justified as you read further (and I hope I did it well), so I hope you will give it a chance. Thank you :D

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**In the Absence of Symmetry**

by Sanguine Ageha

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There was a question plaguing Hitachiin Kaoru for the past several days now. It had always been at the backseat of his mind for some reason. He never really acknowledged it until it dawned on him. Dismissing it as a fleeting thought, he went about with his daily life with his twin brother and never voiced it out. Kaoru did not feel the need to bring up something he himself could not even explain, given that doing so would only break the peace between him and his brother.

And now, it came to a point that he could not take it anymore. The question was currently the sole resident of his brain, refusing to be phased out by other things. Impulse was threatening to take over anytime. It was rare for him to feel this way, especially since he was getting this nagging feeling that there was a possibility he would be losing someone important to him anytime, anywhere.

He bit his lower lip to prevent a chuckle from escaping. Kaoru was thinking as if Hikaru had a fatal disease and was soon going to depart from the world. However, Death was not the deity in question in this situation; it was Fate who had to give him answers.

It was ironic, really. He, the mature twin, was beginning to act like a child; _a self-centered child_. Who wouldn't? Having his twin brother to himself and vice versa for an entire sixteen years, of course it was natural for him to act as such. The question itself reeked of selfishness, but it was an instinctive response to a situation that would result to his likely separation from his brother in the end. It could be called an excuse from facing the reality that was slowly starting to seep into their lives, but Kaoru would readily disagree. His way of thinking may be stained with denial and a desperate attempt to hold on, but there was truth in his reasons.

And the truth, no matter how painful or harsh it was, had to be taken and faced bravely.

So, he had to ask. It was now or never.

"…Hikaru?"

"Mm?" The tone sounded clearly distracted, given that Hikaru was thoroughly immersed with his video game.

_Now or never._

"What if Haruhi was never meant for you?" Kaoru finally fired the question.

He thought Hikaru didn't hear him because the music coming from the video game was still audible. Was he even paying attention?

Hikaru pushed the Pause button and slowly turned to look at his brother. His gaze was thoughtful but searching, trying to figure out where this was leading to before giving out his response. Identical amber eyes looked right back at him, but Kaoru's held a message that his thoughts were unreadable and his intentions were well hidden.

"What do you mean by that, Kaoru?" Hikaru wanted to know, not having a single clue why this was suddenly brought up.

"I know you more than anyone, Hikaru. And because of that, I _do_ know that you're beginning to develop some feelings for Haruhi." Kaoru started. "But what if… Haruhi was not meant to be the one for you? That maybe she was destined to teach you things about liking and communicating, but was not destined to be your significant other?"

A momentary silence hung in the air. It was so thick that if one attempted to cut it with a knife if it manifested into a solid object it would get stuck in the middle and be impossible to retrieve.

"I don't see why we have to talk about this." Hikaru had a frown on his lips and he went back to his game. "I'd say get back to reading your book."

Kaoru sighed. It was typical Hikaru to be defensive whenever a sensitive topic was being discussed. This was one of them. Vaguely recalling the conversation he had with Kyouya in the past, perhaps it _was_ too early to tell if anything would progress for Haruhi and Hikaru. Was he starting to jump to conclusions a mile away from the intended outcome, whatever they would be?

"…But…"

Hikaru tilted his head upwards once more, a pensive expression on his face, his eyes adopting the same emotion as he looked out the window near him. It was Kaoru's turn to look at him, questioning eyes directed at his brother, patiently waiting for his answer.

"If ever she isn't the one for me," Hikaru's struggle for words were apparent as his tone became tight, acting as if his breath was stuck in his throat, "I'd still be… thankful. Because, she taught me to be more open and accommodating to the people close to me.

"And also because… she was able to tell us apart and helped expand our world to let other people in."

The only sound that could be heard afterwards was the repeated pressing of keys and the electronic music coming from the gaming device.

Kaoru gave his brother a long, probing look. Having found what he sought, a contented smile found its way on his face as he shifted back his attention to the book he was reading.

As he resumed playing, Hitachiin Hikaru still could not get over the surprise he felt with the answer he gave. It was an atypical kind of thing that would come from him, yet he could not deny that the sensible words came out from his own mouth. For the first time, it was not the puerility that spoke; it was the mature side of him he did not know he had or could have. So in a way, he felt proud of himself. He was able to think and speak like a grown-up for once. Maybe it was time he started acting like one anyway.

Alike not only in physique but also in their worldview and opinions of people, symmetry sealed the bond of the twins and made them closer. The consequence to this closeness led them to leave out people from their world, despite the much wanted time to come when somebody would open the lock to their closed gate and distinguish one from the other.

However, in the absence of symmetry, two individuals that acted like one became divided. Separate personalities surfaced, each possessing their own unique traits regardless of them being good or bad. That stitch in time became proof that a trait did not have to belong to someone exclusively, because one who suddenly became mature might have been self-absorbed yesterday; and one who was so understanding might be the selfish person tomorrow.

**Owari**

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To be honest, this fic gave me a headache and small doses of confusion. But I won't get into my rants; I know that they would only bore you.

This is my take on Haruhi's impact on the twins' lives as individuals and as one entity, and also one of the possible outcomes (as in not ending up together) if the final pairing Hatori Bisco decides upon would be Haruhi and Tamaki. (But I'm not complaining, of course. 8D) I have seen this theme written in various versions but none in the way like mine so I decided to write it. :D

As always, reviews would be welcomed with open arms; same goes to concrit, but flames will not be tolerated. Again, thank you!


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